When I started this blog a couple of years ago, I really was looking for an avenue to share my thoughts on an array of things. To share my fears, my struggles, my most burning issues and matters I like. But above all this I wanted to get an avenue to write about the GREATNESS that we are as South Africans.
As the name suggests, I took it from the well known collection of Steve Biko's writings. These were according to me the best of philosophies and my introduction to the writings of the father of the Black Consciousness Movement. It was through these writings that I started exploring my "BLACKNESS" and therefore started engaging with the possibilities that I was much greater than I was made to believe because of the color of my skin.
Through these profound writings by Steve Biko, there was a new passion incited in me. They incited a passion to dig deeper into the very thing that makes me and pushes me to start inquiring about that which is outside of me that has everyone fixated on me about (The color of my skin). This only differential factor from other people has been the biggest cause of my pain. This very thing has made people look at me and at the onset start questioning my ability to be as great as they are or better. This skin has made me learn at a young age that "YOU BETTER WORK A HUNDRED TIMES HARDER THAN UMLUNGU" if you want to even get the scrumps off his table.
This was a lullaby that me and many other people with my skin color heard so very often when growing up. This thorny song became one with our skin and incited some level of discontent and pain. It reinforced the very notion that because of the color of my skin, I am not as good as the fairer skinned brothers and sisters hence I needed to work a hundred times harder to achieve and amass even the minimum success (a house and car that will be owned by the bank for the longest time).
The words contained in the writings of Steve Bantu Biko made me to start introspecting and questioning whether I accept the notion that I am lesser because I am BLACK. This is a journey I have made a conscious decision to undertake with nothing less than the best courage of my conviction. I have decided that this is a journey I will take and prove that my BLACKNESS is a symbol of greatness... That my BLACKNESS is indicative of the triumph of a human spirit. It is through my BLACKNESS that the brightest sparks and light will emanate. My BLACKNESS will serve as a beacon of hope for many others whose light has been dimmed by the constant reminder that their blackness devalues their existence. It is through my very own BLACKNESS that I will remind many others like me that "THEIR DREAM MATTERS" (as articulated by Lupita)
Anyway, my initial intention of starting this blog was precisely to have folk journey with me on this whirlwind of self-discovery. I wanted to start a platform where I can write what I like and have people engage with me on my thoughts... to start and continue with some dialogues that sustains us as cohabitants of this marvelous earth. Most importantly, it is a platform that I wanted to create and join many others who have taken the task to change the narrative of their BLACKNESS.
I guess with every journey, one starts with rantings and self-inspection and then embark on that LOLIWE.
This blog will take many turns as with every journey... Some of the turns will be rantings and self-critical exploration of where we are as a BLACK RACE, then as COUNTRY, then as CONTINENT and then HUMAN RACE. These explorations will simply be explorations of where we are as a people and where we need to be, AS I SEE IT ( and have thoughts and sights challenged and molded with your help and engagements)
But at the other turns we will celebrate MY BLACKNESS. I will explore the stories of our triumph that I think are starting to sink deeper into the ocean of self-loathing. I want to use this platform to celebrate the leaps and bounds we have journeyed on and are stilling journeying on to impart in us a sense of pride and self-worth. I want to continue with your help with narrating the GREATNESS of OUR BLACKNESS.
Ths is mine and your platform (I will get better with navigating this technology) to just celebrate and push each other onto the trampolines that will propel us to achieve that ideal of AFRICAN RENAISSANCE.
This will mean calling each other out when we are tripping and affirming each other when we are soaring to greatness, as we often do but are blinded by our own self-loath and pity. We will affirm each other and really SHINE THE LIGHT OF OUR BLACKNESS....
I would like to introduce you to our BLACK FIRE ENTERPRISE....
Signing Out For Now
Karabo Lepote
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
WE ARE FUC**D, PERIOD!!!
Dear ANC
WE ARE FUC**D, PERIOD!!!
You see, this is one of those letters that one never envisions writing to you. I never really thought I would ever write this letter to you because to me you are more than just a political party. To me and many of my people you are father, a mother, a brother, a sister, a lover, husband and wife; and many more. To you and your endeavors, many of my people and yours who have given at least their time and most their lives for over a century, we still believe albeit with much skepticism of late.
You have come to flow in many a bloodstreams of your people. Your movement and ideals have become the very fiber of our existence. For a very long and short distant past you have become the only movement that we have looked up and have dedicated our voices to; and dared not look elsewhere for anything because you were and are (to some of us), all we ever needed.
Until recently (the past couple of years) I and many other South Africans have been debating whether to write this letter to you. You see, this letter and many others that will come (like many others that has come before) serves as nothing more than a SIGNAL. THESE LETTERS SERVE AS A WARNING, AS MUCH AS THEY BREAK OUR HEARTS TO WRITE THEM TO YOU. But we owe it to you to do so or else we would have failed you.
MY STORY GOES LIKE THIS:
I went to the police station today to certify my ID documents that are needed for the registration of my new company. (You see, I am an entrepreneur and have started a company of my own. This decision to start my own company is driven by many forces chief among being the fact that I know you have fought tooth and nail, and at times given up your people's lives to ensure A YOUNG, BLACK AND GIFTED man like myself can cease the day and advance the economic participation of me and my people (YOUR PEOPLE)). But what happened the police station today struck a cord and left me very SCARRRRRRREEEEEED. After the gentleman certified my copies and we exchanged great laughs and jokes indicative of our greatest CONSTITUTION, UBUNTU, I was left shivers of fear and despair, anger and self evaluation. An evaluation of self and my people and this great nation the creator bestowed on us.
This gentleman as I was about to leave, smilingly looked at me and said I must leave him with a pen as he has finished the ink in his signing my papers. My innocence at this statement was immediately stripped away as I now have come know what these statements are packed with. You see, an innocent me would have thought that I was being asked to donate a pen to the police station which I would have done without thinking twice. But the FUC**D ME knew that the day will come when I would have to 'compensate' our men and woman in uniform for certifying documents for me (a task that should be carried with honor because they know that their signatures ensure that we can do what we want to do to advance ourselves)
The experience I had today comes at no surprise to me because this has become a narrative that meanders in the corridors and passages of our South African society. We know stories of people that have to pay bribes to the nurses to dispense drugs that they (patients) need for survival of their lives. We always have to pay our civil servants to provide us with the basic services that our taxes afford us. (a double charge if you ask me). Patients are competing with drug lords to get medical drugs they need. Hospitals, police, and all honorable civil services are rife with corruption. THEY MOONLIGHT AT THE EXPENSE OF OUR PEOPLE AND YOUR PEOPLE.
We have warned you by taking to the streets in service protest. These protests have even at times turned violent. This violence was not fueled by our hatred to you, our country and our people. They have become violent because this is the tactic you used at times to fight against apartheid. You picked up arms when you needed to and marched to war against injustice of our people. We have also taken arms because we are fighting AGAINST INJUSTICE OF OUR PEOPLE. But this is still A WARNING. Like a battered wife, we are simply screaming to say stop abusing us. The day we say enough is enough, we will do one of two things, WE WILL LEAVE FOR THE OTHER PARTIES begging to adopt us. The other option that many of my people will do is that they will pick up arms and take to the streets in violence revolution. The last option, although I would not advocate for will turn up to be the only option that my people will find viable. You see, they do not see all these other options given to them and only regard you as the only body suited to govern them.The second they believe you don't have their best option at heart, without rehabilitation, they will want to govern themselves as yours is the only option they see. I HOPE FOR THE SAKE OF AVOIDING THE LATTER, YOU HAVE STARTED WITH YOUR ROBUST, SHARP AND QUICK REHABILITATION.
Like I said at the beginning of this letter, I never wanted to write it because a child should never tell his or her parents when they are falling through the cracks because our African culture warns us not to. But I am going to bite the bullet today and join many rebellious children our there THAT YOU NEED REHABILITATION OR ELSE WE ARE FUC**D, PERIOD.
In the last couple of years we have been witnessing abuse of power and state resources for the benifit of the few in society. We have been sitting on the sidelines and screaming at you to warn you. We have witnessed corruption be the order of the day within your corridors of SERVICE (NOT POWER). We have screamed so loud that some of us have retired from that scream. Some of our good men and women, have felt so powerless against fighting corruption withing your government administration that they have now joined the ranks of corruption. Good women and men have acculturated to this habit that rehabilitating them is going to require a major SIGNAL. (or lesson if you may)
To return your great men and women to the course that you have taken for the betterment of our society and people, you will have to send us A MAJOR SIGNAL and whisper to us CALM DOWN, I GOT THIS. This signal should send send shivers down our spines and nerves and remind us once again why we fell in-love with you. You need to remind us once again, why we had children with you, and why we married you, and why our fathers left our homes to fight with you, why our mothers were left to fend for us while daddy has gone to fight for our liberation. Remind us once more, we beg.
Remind us why even when we see the moral deterioration and utter disrespect from the civil servant we have asked you to manage, we still scream your praise and hold your course, resolutions and ideals as the torch of our hope. REMIND US ONCE AGAIN, WE BEG. REMIND US WHY WE LOVE YOU.
The only way you can remind me and many of millions of my people why you are still fighting our course would be to recall PRESIDENT JACOB ZUMA... Please recall him immediately. What has transpired with Nkandla is simply not a slap in our faces (and we have had many of those), it is blow and a kick to our guts. It is kick to the very core of who we are as a people of South Africa.
We know that this is not a Jacob Zuma issue. We accept that corruption has polarized our government structures to the very bottom of civil service. We know that fighting a culture is a mammoth task and a battle that will take every ounce of your energy. We know how hard this journey is going to be and how much it is going to cost you, but we are here and are equipped to take up our arms and go into battle with you. But before we can go into battle with you and make sacrifices our fathers and mothers made, we will need you to show us why we should do so....
Re-calling Honorable Jacob Zuma from office would SIGNAL to us that you are ready to take up the journey of REHABILITATING our movement and restoring it back to it's core of SERVICE to her people. We will know that you still mean it when you BATHO PELE. We will be remindeded why your people spilled their blood for our FREEDOM and DEMOCRACY.
As we celebrate 20 YEARS of that young child, DEMOCRACY, help us remember that you fought hard for her birth and you will fight for her to the very end. Don't let her vision and ideals be compromised by what we are seeing daily of our people in public service. REMIND EVERYONE IN PUBLIC SERVICE THAT YOU WILL FIGHT FOR OUR PEOPLE WITHOUT DETERRENCE ESPECIALLY FROM RAMPANT CORRUPTION IN GOVERNMENT.
REMIND US ONCE AGAIN, WE BEG, BECAUSE WE KNOW THAT IF YOU DON'T, WE ARE FUC**D...
Kind Regards,
Ngwana Wa Bo Lona...
WE ARE FUC**D, PERIOD!!!
You see, this is one of those letters that one never envisions writing to you. I never really thought I would ever write this letter to you because to me you are more than just a political party. To me and many of my people you are father, a mother, a brother, a sister, a lover, husband and wife; and many more. To you and your endeavors, many of my people and yours who have given at least their time and most their lives for over a century, we still believe albeit with much skepticism of late.
You have come to flow in many a bloodstreams of your people. Your movement and ideals have become the very fiber of our existence. For a very long and short distant past you have become the only movement that we have looked up and have dedicated our voices to; and dared not look elsewhere for anything because you were and are (to some of us), all we ever needed.
Until recently (the past couple of years) I and many other South Africans have been debating whether to write this letter to you. You see, this letter and many others that will come (like many others that has come before) serves as nothing more than a SIGNAL. THESE LETTERS SERVE AS A WARNING, AS MUCH AS THEY BREAK OUR HEARTS TO WRITE THEM TO YOU. But we owe it to you to do so or else we would have failed you.
MY STORY GOES LIKE THIS:
I went to the police station today to certify my ID documents that are needed for the registration of my new company. (You see, I am an entrepreneur and have started a company of my own. This decision to start my own company is driven by many forces chief among being the fact that I know you have fought tooth and nail, and at times given up your people's lives to ensure A YOUNG, BLACK AND GIFTED man like myself can cease the day and advance the economic participation of me and my people (YOUR PEOPLE)). But what happened the police station today struck a cord and left me very SCARRRRRRREEEEEED. After the gentleman certified my copies and we exchanged great laughs and jokes indicative of our greatest CONSTITUTION, UBUNTU, I was left shivers of fear and despair, anger and self evaluation. An evaluation of self and my people and this great nation the creator bestowed on us.
This gentleman as I was about to leave, smilingly looked at me and said I must leave him with a pen as he has finished the ink in his signing my papers. My innocence at this statement was immediately stripped away as I now have come know what these statements are packed with. You see, an innocent me would have thought that I was being asked to donate a pen to the police station which I would have done without thinking twice. But the FUC**D ME knew that the day will come when I would have to 'compensate' our men and woman in uniform for certifying documents for me (a task that should be carried with honor because they know that their signatures ensure that we can do what we want to do to advance ourselves)
The experience I had today comes at no surprise to me because this has become a narrative that meanders in the corridors and passages of our South African society. We know stories of people that have to pay bribes to the nurses to dispense drugs that they (patients) need for survival of their lives. We always have to pay our civil servants to provide us with the basic services that our taxes afford us. (a double charge if you ask me). Patients are competing with drug lords to get medical drugs they need. Hospitals, police, and all honorable civil services are rife with corruption. THEY MOONLIGHT AT THE EXPENSE OF OUR PEOPLE AND YOUR PEOPLE.
We have warned you by taking to the streets in service protest. These protests have even at times turned violent. This violence was not fueled by our hatred to you, our country and our people. They have become violent because this is the tactic you used at times to fight against apartheid. You picked up arms when you needed to and marched to war against injustice of our people. We have also taken arms because we are fighting AGAINST INJUSTICE OF OUR PEOPLE. But this is still A WARNING. Like a battered wife, we are simply screaming to say stop abusing us. The day we say enough is enough, we will do one of two things, WE WILL LEAVE FOR THE OTHER PARTIES begging to adopt us. The other option that many of my people will do is that they will pick up arms and take to the streets in violence revolution. The last option, although I would not advocate for will turn up to be the only option that my people will find viable. You see, they do not see all these other options given to them and only regard you as the only body suited to govern them.The second they believe you don't have their best option at heart, without rehabilitation, they will want to govern themselves as yours is the only option they see. I HOPE FOR THE SAKE OF AVOIDING THE LATTER, YOU HAVE STARTED WITH YOUR ROBUST, SHARP AND QUICK REHABILITATION.
Like I said at the beginning of this letter, I never wanted to write it because a child should never tell his or her parents when they are falling through the cracks because our African culture warns us not to. But I am going to bite the bullet today and join many rebellious children our there THAT YOU NEED REHABILITATION OR ELSE WE ARE FUC**D, PERIOD.
In the last couple of years we have been witnessing abuse of power and state resources for the benifit of the few in society. We have been sitting on the sidelines and screaming at you to warn you. We have witnessed corruption be the order of the day within your corridors of SERVICE (NOT POWER). We have screamed so loud that some of us have retired from that scream. Some of our good men and women, have felt so powerless against fighting corruption withing your government administration that they have now joined the ranks of corruption. Good women and men have acculturated to this habit that rehabilitating them is going to require a major SIGNAL. (or lesson if you may)
To return your great men and women to the course that you have taken for the betterment of our society and people, you will have to send us A MAJOR SIGNAL and whisper to us CALM DOWN, I GOT THIS. This signal should send send shivers down our spines and nerves and remind us once again why we fell in-love with you. You need to remind us once again, why we had children with you, and why we married you, and why our fathers left our homes to fight with you, why our mothers were left to fend for us while daddy has gone to fight for our liberation. Remind us once more, we beg.
Remind us why even when we see the moral deterioration and utter disrespect from the civil servant we have asked you to manage, we still scream your praise and hold your course, resolutions and ideals as the torch of our hope. REMIND US ONCE AGAIN, WE BEG. REMIND US WHY WE LOVE YOU.
The only way you can remind me and many of millions of my people why you are still fighting our course would be to recall PRESIDENT JACOB ZUMA... Please recall him immediately. What has transpired with Nkandla is simply not a slap in our faces (and we have had many of those), it is blow and a kick to our guts. It is kick to the very core of who we are as a people of South Africa.
We know that this is not a Jacob Zuma issue. We accept that corruption has polarized our government structures to the very bottom of civil service. We know that fighting a culture is a mammoth task and a battle that will take every ounce of your energy. We know how hard this journey is going to be and how much it is going to cost you, but we are here and are equipped to take up our arms and go into battle with you. But before we can go into battle with you and make sacrifices our fathers and mothers made, we will need you to show us why we should do so....
Re-calling Honorable Jacob Zuma from office would SIGNAL to us that you are ready to take up the journey of REHABILITATING our movement and restoring it back to it's core of SERVICE to her people. We will know that you still mean it when you BATHO PELE. We will be remindeded why your people spilled their blood for our FREEDOM and DEMOCRACY.
As we celebrate 20 YEARS of that young child, DEMOCRACY, help us remember that you fought hard for her birth and you will fight for her to the very end. Don't let her vision and ideals be compromised by what we are seeing daily of our people in public service. REMIND EVERYONE IN PUBLIC SERVICE THAT YOU WILL FIGHT FOR OUR PEOPLE WITHOUT DETERRENCE ESPECIALLY FROM RAMPANT CORRUPTION IN GOVERNMENT.
REMIND US ONCE AGAIN, WE BEG, BECAUSE WE KNOW THAT IF YOU DON'T, WE ARE FUC**D...
Kind Regards,
Ngwana Wa Bo Lona...
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Shame on Us South Africa...Shame on Us
I am utterly disgusted at how we have let things be in this country. After such a long struggle with one system of oppression, we seem to be at the edge of building another one. We as South African's, at the hands of the "leaders" we have elected into power, have seemingly let ourselves become a state that is on a free-sliding slippery slope. We are sliding into a state of utter dysfunction as one speaker has so poignantly stated.
On one hand we are building a nation whose resources seem are shared among the few elite groups and none to the people whose hands have worked tirelessly to build them. On the other hand, we seem to be quite OK with the way our "lady justice" has been raped...
The first point relates to the fact that on a daily basis the gap between the rich and the poor seem to be increasing at an alarming rate. The poor are getting poorer and richer getting richer. I am no proponent of Karl Max but I wonder if he had an important point to make when refuting the capitalist system of the day and predicting its demise.
CEO's of companies are getting fat bonuses for a job well done, and this job well done entails retrenching staff in thousands to cut cost... So this is where we are at, Let's pay this fat bastard a R10 million bonus because he managed to fire people to cut costs for us...That is our picture South African.
Our parastatals change CEO's faster than I change my underwear, and here is another appalling picture, we give them a golden handshake for inefficiency and squandering tax payers resources. Meanwhile people are going to bed on empty stomach's and more retrenched due to this corporates malpractices.
We build bridges to make way for the rich to travel without hindrance, but fail to put a roof over the poor's toilet, let alone building them proper shelters. We built useless toll gates instead of creating infrastructure in townships so that people don't have travel far for jobs.
Our priorities seem to be at best stupid and at their worst fucked up. Come on...
On the other hand, we are dingling our short digs and raping "lady justice" in full view. We have no shame that our justice system is at the helm of collapse and dysfunction.
Shabir Sheik...let me not even waste my time on this one...
But I would like to paint a picture at our own injustice... If I go and rob a bank for a couple of thousands so that I can take my kids to government schools ( with their 15th grade education system) and feed my family with whats left, I will be seen as a menace to society and thus needing the guillotine. But let some government official steal billions of our hard earned tax ( that needs to be distributed to the poor) they get a pat on the hand and are sent marching back into society to steal some more...
Problem: We are slowly building a society that is biased towards the rich and famous at the expense of the poor and the working class. We are creating a divided society prevalent in Karl Max's philosophical writings. A society of a few rich elites and multitudes of starving paupers.
This is a very fragile society we are building for God knows that there is nothing more dangerous than a starving man, whose dignity has been stripped by poverty. The society we are building is one that Max concluded that it will bring with it revolutions where the working class will say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!
I concur with Moeletsi Mbeki when he predicts that by 2020 South African will have it's Tunisia Day and I say, Moeletsi maybe you stretched the due date a little more than you should have...I give a lot less time than that. This will be the period when all of us watching with disgust and no action would say: WE COULD HAVE AVOIDED THIS. This would be the time when us with no private jets would not be able to flee the country and we'll be left to clean their mess.
I say South Africa, let's avoid this more dramatic revolution and start a subtle one by now demanding what we voted for. A just and equal society...where all men are equal before the law and no one is beyond reproach...
THE STRUGGLE MUST END!!! LETS BUILD OUR FUTURE BACK...
On one hand we are building a nation whose resources seem are shared among the few elite groups and none to the people whose hands have worked tirelessly to build them. On the other hand, we seem to be quite OK with the way our "lady justice" has been raped...
The first point relates to the fact that on a daily basis the gap between the rich and the poor seem to be increasing at an alarming rate. The poor are getting poorer and richer getting richer. I am no proponent of Karl Max but I wonder if he had an important point to make when refuting the capitalist system of the day and predicting its demise.
CEO's of companies are getting fat bonuses for a job well done, and this job well done entails retrenching staff in thousands to cut cost... So this is where we are at, Let's pay this fat bastard a R10 million bonus because he managed to fire people to cut costs for us...That is our picture South African.
Our parastatals change CEO's faster than I change my underwear, and here is another appalling picture, we give them a golden handshake for inefficiency and squandering tax payers resources. Meanwhile people are going to bed on empty stomach's and more retrenched due to this corporates malpractices.
We build bridges to make way for the rich to travel without hindrance, but fail to put a roof over the poor's toilet, let alone building them proper shelters. We built useless toll gates instead of creating infrastructure in townships so that people don't have travel far for jobs.
Our priorities seem to be at best stupid and at their worst fucked up. Come on...
On the other hand, we are dingling our short digs and raping "lady justice" in full view. We have no shame that our justice system is at the helm of collapse and dysfunction.
Shabir Sheik...let me not even waste my time on this one...
But I would like to paint a picture at our own injustice... If I go and rob a bank for a couple of thousands so that I can take my kids to government schools ( with their 15th grade education system) and feed my family with whats left, I will be seen as a menace to society and thus needing the guillotine. But let some government official steal billions of our hard earned tax ( that needs to be distributed to the poor) they get a pat on the hand and are sent marching back into society to steal some more...
Problem: We are slowly building a society that is biased towards the rich and famous at the expense of the poor and the working class. We are creating a divided society prevalent in Karl Max's philosophical writings. A society of a few rich elites and multitudes of starving paupers.
This is a very fragile society we are building for God knows that there is nothing more dangerous than a starving man, whose dignity has been stripped by poverty. The society we are building is one that Max concluded that it will bring with it revolutions where the working class will say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!
I concur with Moeletsi Mbeki when he predicts that by 2020 South African will have it's Tunisia Day and I say, Moeletsi maybe you stretched the due date a little more than you should have...I give a lot less time than that. This will be the period when all of us watching with disgust and no action would say: WE COULD HAVE AVOIDED THIS. This would be the time when us with no private jets would not be able to flee the country and we'll be left to clean their mess.
I say South Africa, let's avoid this more dramatic revolution and start a subtle one by now demanding what we voted for. A just and equal society...where all men are equal before the law and no one is beyond reproach...
THE STRUGGLE MUST END!!! LETS BUILD OUR FUTURE BACK...
Monday, January 24, 2011
JUST LET GO!!!!!!!!
I try as much as possible not to make my life a public entity but sometimes the best cure for most of our issues is to simply share knowing very well that someone out there will benefit from your experiences of life as you go on. The recent turn of events in my life have left even me, the eternal optimist speechless, humbled and filled with a gracious and thankfull heart.
2010 had it's fair share of dramas, lessons and but most importantly it taught me so much about myself. It reinforced my absolute belief in the working hand of God in my life and reinforced my knowledge of His underlying love.
The year was marked by loss after loss, life spiraling out of control and emotional turmoil only dealth with by heavily acredited shrinks. In just one year I saw life as I have known it go from good to bad to worse and jump straight to great, all in a small period of time. What time did I have to deal with the emotions that come with all of these.
Towars the end of last year, the only thing between me and my rock bottom, was a little faith that someday it will all make sense. After filling buckets with tears, countless couch sessions with shrink, self-destructing behaviour, I was hanging on only by a threat of hope that there is a God out there and somehow He was looking down on me with a heart of grace and a willing hand. I spent countless hours in prayer, wishing that it can all go away. Felt like God had taken everything away from me. Relationships ended, friends departed and everyone looked like a curious bystander.
( I am trying very hard not to divulge or give the description of my situation. No amount of words can ever describe it all perfectly). Dealing with loss in all areas of one's life is not an easy task but one that is worthwhile.
I had a life changing conversation with a friend that made me realise that sometimes loss can represent gain in such a profound way. We sometimes hold on to things, tightly with both hands and never really let go so that we can receive. We limit the power of God's provision with our inability to let go.
As I tried to hold on to everything, I lost so much energy that I had no choice but to let go....I LET GO AND LET GOD....I LET GO AND LET GOD. The best decision of my life. When you let go and let God, you allow yourself to be free and be on the receiving end of His love, grace and blessings.
After all this, His hand became evident to me in such a profound manner. My best friend quit a job that will become mine in just a few weeks of his departure. I got blessed with great friends in my life and restored the friendships I had neglected. Got blessed with a wonderfull relationship, after battling with a loss of another...It took me years of bad decisions and wrong choices to "destroy my life" and only took God a few months restore all.
I have no idea why I feel so compelled to write this blog...Nothing I am saying here seems coherent to me and I am not sure if I am making sense but one thing I would want you to walk away with here is this...LETTING GO IS THE HARDEST THING FOR A HUMAN BEING TO DO, BUT IT COULD POSSIBLY BE THE BEST THING FOR YOU.
When letting go, you give God a chance to work in your life. To manifest all the great things He has promised. Letting go can be the greatest way to gain it all back and even more. OK...Just Let Go
I hope you got me...Just Let Go.
2010 had it's fair share of dramas, lessons and but most importantly it taught me so much about myself. It reinforced my absolute belief in the working hand of God in my life and reinforced my knowledge of His underlying love.
The year was marked by loss after loss, life spiraling out of control and emotional turmoil only dealth with by heavily acredited shrinks. In just one year I saw life as I have known it go from good to bad to worse and jump straight to great, all in a small period of time. What time did I have to deal with the emotions that come with all of these.
Towars the end of last year, the only thing between me and my rock bottom, was a little faith that someday it will all make sense. After filling buckets with tears, countless couch sessions with shrink, self-destructing behaviour, I was hanging on only by a threat of hope that there is a God out there and somehow He was looking down on me with a heart of grace and a willing hand. I spent countless hours in prayer, wishing that it can all go away. Felt like God had taken everything away from me. Relationships ended, friends departed and everyone looked like a curious bystander.
( I am trying very hard not to divulge or give the description of my situation. No amount of words can ever describe it all perfectly). Dealing with loss in all areas of one's life is not an easy task but one that is worthwhile.
I had a life changing conversation with a friend that made me realise that sometimes loss can represent gain in such a profound way. We sometimes hold on to things, tightly with both hands and never really let go so that we can receive. We limit the power of God's provision with our inability to let go.
As I tried to hold on to everything, I lost so much energy that I had no choice but to let go....I LET GO AND LET GOD....I LET GO AND LET GOD. The best decision of my life. When you let go and let God, you allow yourself to be free and be on the receiving end of His love, grace and blessings.
After all this, His hand became evident to me in such a profound manner. My best friend quit a job that will become mine in just a few weeks of his departure. I got blessed with great friends in my life and restored the friendships I had neglected. Got blessed with a wonderfull relationship, after battling with a loss of another...It took me years of bad decisions and wrong choices to "destroy my life" and only took God a few months restore all.
I have no idea why I feel so compelled to write this blog...Nothing I am saying here seems coherent to me and I am not sure if I am making sense but one thing I would want you to walk away with here is this...LETTING GO IS THE HARDEST THING FOR A HUMAN BEING TO DO, BUT IT COULD POSSIBLY BE THE BEST THING FOR YOU.
When letting go, you give God a chance to work in your life. To manifest all the great things He has promised. Letting go can be the greatest way to gain it all back and even more. OK...Just Let Go
I hope you got me...Just Let Go.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
The State Of Stupidity...
As I was writing my exam today, I realised that as a people we have become incredibly stupid or rather too reliant on technology and quite frankly, I started asking myself too many questions about our state of stupidity...
Years ago I went to Dion Chang's seminar and he was talking about "the state we are in". Without going too much into details, he basically analysed our reliance and constant need for tecchnology and how this has made us "stupid".
With a click of a button we can simply get the answer we are looking for and more. With google,Wikkie and all these fancy site, one does not really need to know and remember everything when you have access to them. and the fact that we can now simply BBM the experts without any cost on our side, we don't really have to dig for the truth and knowledge.
What technology was suppose to do, it has done and in the process taken our inner need to know. I am reminded at how easy it was for me to do my work during the semester because all I need was to type the question in the google bar and I will have some brainiac out there give me all the answers, and writing my exam today, I realised that brainiac forgot to tell me that I should know this answer and more strongly, I should try to remember and recall it when needed.
This may sound like irresponsibility on my part, but I ask how much of your brain do you use these days; to analyse, ask probing questions and finally come to a well researched conclusion that will form the basis of your knowledge. Frankly, the truth abiding self in you, will remind you that you never think these days because the need to think has been taken over by technology. We have simply become the medium of data transfer.
This is even scarier because we don't even have time for quite contemplation and small thought. That period is gone when one had time to think about something before they can respond to questions or comment on something. Now when you read the news, the first instinct is to comment on what is being reported without even thinking about it.
While at Dion's talk, one of the things I came to realise is that technology no matter how great it is, has made the human race very lazy and unthoughtfull. We hardly even have time alone with our thoughts, because if you are not busy googling, you are are responding to endless emails, texts, fb messages, or simply commenting about Britney Spear's PuJUjU...
We are forver busy with information and never have time to process that information, analyse and quetsion it's authenticity.
I miss the days of reading a book and getting absorbed in the story, use my mind to create pictures and spark my creativity. I miss the days of sitting under the tree with your one litre bottle of coke and simply listening to the sound of my breath if not the humming birds and singing "gogoitjies".
I miss the time when responding to something meant taking pen in your hand, pulling out a piece of paper, then writing your responce, knowing full well that after you have written it, you would have had time to think about it and re-draft your response.
I miss the time when I missed people in my life and when I saw them, I had something to say and we had so much to catch up on. the mystery and intrigue of getting to find out what they have been up to and which direction they have been taking. I miss the time when I did not need to constantly answer to everyone because I was out of reach.
But most importantly, I miss the time when I was alone with my body, mind and spirit, and we were all in one accord and in the same space, because none of us was responding to the everyday demands imposed on by societal need to know about you constantly or your need to probe.
P.S. I am not in any way trying to down-play the conveniences that technology has brought to my life and billions of other people, I am simply weeping for the time when I felt in control of the information that I absorbed...but then again I have the responsibility to sit back and not constantly be in "the know all".
Years ago I went to Dion Chang's seminar and he was talking about "the state we are in". Without going too much into details, he basically analysed our reliance and constant need for tecchnology and how this has made us "stupid".
With a click of a button we can simply get the answer we are looking for and more. With google,Wikkie and all these fancy site, one does not really need to know and remember everything when you have access to them. and the fact that we can now simply BBM the experts without any cost on our side, we don't really have to dig for the truth and knowledge.
What technology was suppose to do, it has done and in the process taken our inner need to know. I am reminded at how easy it was for me to do my work during the semester because all I need was to type the question in the google bar and I will have some brainiac out there give me all the answers, and writing my exam today, I realised that brainiac forgot to tell me that I should know this answer and more strongly, I should try to remember and recall it when needed.
This may sound like irresponsibility on my part, but I ask how much of your brain do you use these days; to analyse, ask probing questions and finally come to a well researched conclusion that will form the basis of your knowledge. Frankly, the truth abiding self in you, will remind you that you never think these days because the need to think has been taken over by technology. We have simply become the medium of data transfer.
This is even scarier because we don't even have time for quite contemplation and small thought. That period is gone when one had time to think about something before they can respond to questions or comment on something. Now when you read the news, the first instinct is to comment on what is being reported without even thinking about it.
While at Dion's talk, one of the things I came to realise is that technology no matter how great it is, has made the human race very lazy and unthoughtfull. We hardly even have time alone with our thoughts, because if you are not busy googling, you are are responding to endless emails, texts, fb messages, or simply commenting about Britney Spear's PuJUjU...
We are forver busy with information and never have time to process that information, analyse and quetsion it's authenticity.
I miss the days of reading a book and getting absorbed in the story, use my mind to create pictures and spark my creativity. I miss the days of sitting under the tree with your one litre bottle of coke and simply listening to the sound of my breath if not the humming birds and singing "gogoitjies".
I miss the time when responding to something meant taking pen in your hand, pulling out a piece of paper, then writing your responce, knowing full well that after you have written it, you would have had time to think about it and re-draft your response.
I miss the time when I missed people in my life and when I saw them, I had something to say and we had so much to catch up on. the mystery and intrigue of getting to find out what they have been up to and which direction they have been taking. I miss the time when I did not need to constantly answer to everyone because I was out of reach.
But most importantly, I miss the time when I was alone with my body, mind and spirit, and we were all in one accord and in the same space, because none of us was responding to the everyday demands imposed on by societal need to know about you constantly or your need to probe.
P.S. I am not in any way trying to down-play the conveniences that technology has brought to my life and billions of other people, I am simply weeping for the time when I felt in control of the information that I absorbed...but then again I have the responsibility to sit back and not constantly be in "the know all".
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
CAN ALL THAT GLITTER BECOME GOLD ALREADY!!!!
I just checked deGorgeous's fabulosa blog and of course he is always the bearer of all thing glitter and Joburg Fashion Weeks promises to be exactly that. If the pictorial campaign and video promo are anything to go by, this year promises to be one for the records or at least that's how it has been positioned. Having been to more fashion weeks in this country than I have visited the dentist I thought I should voice my concerns and bitch a little.
I know I moan and groan more often than I should and quite frankly do think my opinion should be the only one that counts ( on my blog at least). I have a couple of problems that I have battled to deal with, and since I can't talk to my shrink about my issues with all these fashion weeks and the state we are in, as South African fashion industry, I though maybe this would be a perfect opportunity. Here is my list, in no particular order... and if you can answer me or share some knowledge, please do so remembering that an opinion is like an ass and we all have one.
I know I moan and groan more often than I should and quite frankly do think my opinion should be the only one that counts ( on my blog at least). I have a couple of problems that I have battled to deal with, and since I can't talk to my shrink about my issues with all these fashion weeks and the state we are in, as South African fashion industry, I though maybe this would be a perfect opportunity. Here is my list, in no particular order... and if you can answer me or share some knowledge, please do so remembering that an opinion is like an ass and we all have one.
- Issue number one, when all this parading ends after three days of air kissing, sipping champagne and speaking Prada or David, where does it all start with the business of fashion. I always get so puzzled that so many talented designers work their butts off just to show at fashion week and hardly make ends meet trading their craft. Who exactly should we attribute this little phenomenon to? Is it the lack of business acumen on their part or is because South African market is unwilling to support this industry?
- Secondly, I have massive issues with the crowds that are attracted at these fashion weeks. Young little pretty things, with R20 in their bank balance and no intention or means to buy the fashion. Yes, you know them. they are cute little things and wear the most craziest of outfits but quite frankly can't afford to buy the clothes that are showcased at fashion week. They hog the front row and seem to get all the best tickets and invites that should be given to Corporate South Africa, who by virtue of their bank balances come to Fashion Weeks to see what they can buy and not what they can gossip about. How many of those corporate junkies go overseas to do their shopping and they never get invited to these fashion weeks, and don't you dare tell me it's because they don't want to. Let me bring a friend, unknown in this interesting but stupid circle and they will hardly be given a seat, when in actual fact they have more potential to either buy or invest in this industry.
- How many of our designer have a client database of unknown people in corporate but have a huge database of celebrities who don't even buy the clothes. The most frustrating thing is when you have to order the clothes from these fabulous designer and you are paying with your hard earned money but you get your clothes late because some pretty young bimbo on tv has an award ceremony to go to and they, of course get first preference.
- Then comes the other issue that irks me from the core, designers who come to showcase some last season Milan Fashion Week or the likes, are we so starved for creativity or are we simply trying to jump on the bandwagon that 'Africa is a dumping zone so let's just dump our crap there'. Quite frankly, my knowledge of fashion is as bleak as my experimentation with quantum physics, but there is only a handful of designers who have and continues to stand out because they break the boundaries and are merely not victims of Parisian/Western dictates.
- With these fashion weeks, come the discussion forums where they would discuss forming the South African Fashion Council or something remotely similar, but are they decisive enough to actually bring it to fruition. Every FW, you hear the same moaning and bickering but no one is actually taking the lead.
- I sometimes wonder if this industry is sustainable and if it will ever get off the ground and what exactly is needed to achieve that. with so much unprofessional behaviour and a sense of entitlement, I will not be holding my breath.
- The last one I went to, some old lady had bought tickets and was taking her family to one of the shows to find out that it was delayed by three hours and that meant she had to spend more money to entertain her entourage before she can view the show.
I know that most of you reading this will think that my observations are without foundation and merit but I dare you to ask and talk to most of the designers and you will be surprised to see that all the glitter is not gold and that rusty goose ain't laying a golden egg anytime soon.
I am going to make my way to Fashion Week and I pray to God that the advertising campaign is not selling me a gold plated rusty nickel...
Please wow us, not so that we can be proud of you and your talent but so that we can be compelled to buy your stuff...
Friday, December 31, 2010
Zille is on crack...Period
Ok the by-laws on liquor...what BS is that? I am a one to ask that there should exist some kind of control on the liqour usage in this country but I think the policy makers in Zille-ville are on crack and have a dealer on speed dial, thats the only explanation I can give for not allowing us non-crackers for drinking our hard earned money past 2 am and before 11am in the morning in restuarants and bars...
These are simple implications for me, a hard working civilian. The restriction on simply enjoying friendhsip bonding between pints of beer, listening to some cool music and dancing the night away. I am quick to point out that the only way I seem not to be consumed by all kinds of rubbish prevalent in this city is when I am pissed out of my mind in the city.
The social implications are also just as crappy, dancing and hanging out with folks is by far the best past time for most working class community. We take this time as seriously as we do voting. I can bet that some will go and vote her out simply because she has taken their favourite let-me -hang-lose time from them.
At 4am in the morning, any waiter will tell you ( and I know this because I was one for four days) that I tip very well in that case. If someone can wait on me untill that time, they surely deserve more than a handshake...Implication: waiters might as well forget about their careers and go ask for social welfare because they won't be making any more money...
Now let me get to the fat-bellied owner of the bar who has a Cliffton mansion to maintain and a fleet of expensive cars: he also has a right to my money to maintain the 21 year old girl whose name he can't remember. He has the right to squezzeeeeee me dry untill I make a nuisance of myself and start dancing on the table. THAT FAT MAN HAS A RIGHT ZILLE AND HE WON'T BE VOTING FOR YOU ANYMORE....instead he will be voting for Malema to be the new political head in the city. Because unlike you, Malema would not only get rid of these BS by-laws, he will be throwing lavish parties in these establishment and telling the neighbours that they are "Bloody Agents" if they complain...
If I am still not making sense, which I never do because before 11am I am forced to drink out of my flask and therefore end up binging, I am simply saying Zille is hanging herself this time. We forgave her for the roof-less toilets, because we were too tired of un-released crap. We forgave for ridding the city of the street people who provided us crack heads with pot and tik, simply bacause we realised a simple phone call will provide us with a months supply and hance bulk pruchasing...We even forgave her for her marriage to 'phuza-face' De Lille, but this is one thing we are not going to forgive her for....THE RIGHT TO RUIN OUR LIVES AND DRINK AS MUCH AS WE CAN...OUR RIGHT TO JUMP ON TOP OF A TABLE AND DO A PARIS HILTON WITHOUT OUR NICKERS ON...
I WILL TAKE THIS TO THE STREET MADAM ZILLE, IF BEING IN ZILLE-VILLE MEANS I HAVE TO BE SOBER AT ALL TIME.
and then she has the nerve to tell us the ANC is pushing a communist agenda, who s being a communist now, Zillicious? dictating how I should waste the peanuts you pay me....NXA MAAAAN
These are simple implications for me, a hard working civilian. The restriction on simply enjoying friendhsip bonding between pints of beer, listening to some cool music and dancing the night away. I am quick to point out that the only way I seem not to be consumed by all kinds of rubbish prevalent in this city is when I am pissed out of my mind in the city.
The social implications are also just as crappy, dancing and hanging out with folks is by far the best past time for most working class community. We take this time as seriously as we do voting. I can bet that some will go and vote her out simply because she has taken their favourite let-me -hang-lose time from them.
At 4am in the morning, any waiter will tell you ( and I know this because I was one for four days) that I tip very well in that case. If someone can wait on me untill that time, they surely deserve more than a handshake...Implication: waiters might as well forget about their careers and go ask for social welfare because they won't be making any more money...
Now let me get to the fat-bellied owner of the bar who has a Cliffton mansion to maintain and a fleet of expensive cars: he also has a right to my money to maintain the 21 year old girl whose name he can't remember. He has the right to squezzeeeeee me dry untill I make a nuisance of myself and start dancing on the table. THAT FAT MAN HAS A RIGHT ZILLE AND HE WON'T BE VOTING FOR YOU ANYMORE....instead he will be voting for Malema to be the new political head in the city. Because unlike you, Malema would not only get rid of these BS by-laws, he will be throwing lavish parties in these establishment and telling the neighbours that they are "Bloody Agents" if they complain...
If I am still not making sense, which I never do because before 11am I am forced to drink out of my flask and therefore end up binging, I am simply saying Zille is hanging herself this time. We forgave her for the roof-less toilets, because we were too tired of un-released crap. We forgave for ridding the city of the street people who provided us crack heads with pot and tik, simply bacause we realised a simple phone call will provide us with a months supply and hance bulk pruchasing...We even forgave her for her marriage to 'phuza-face' De Lille, but this is one thing we are not going to forgive her for....THE RIGHT TO RUIN OUR LIVES AND DRINK AS MUCH AS WE CAN...OUR RIGHT TO JUMP ON TOP OF A TABLE AND DO A PARIS HILTON WITHOUT OUR NICKERS ON...
I WILL TAKE THIS TO THE STREET MADAM ZILLE, IF BEING IN ZILLE-VILLE MEANS I HAVE TO BE SOBER AT ALL TIME.
and then she has the nerve to tell us the ANC is pushing a communist agenda, who s being a communist now, Zillicious? dictating how I should waste the peanuts you pay me....NXA MAAAAN
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